A piece of advice

April 15, 2016


The other day one of my brides asked me for advice for the last couple of weeks before her wedding day. Of course being an OCD-Type-A-List-Maker, my first thought was to go through my multiple page timeline and to-do list from my own wedding to try and remember where my head was during that time. I know I could rattle off a dozen tips like: getting a manicure but keeping the polish with you for touch ups, or going on a ” last date night” to calm your nerves, asking your caterer to put a slice of wedding cake in a to-go box, clearly labeling boxes of your DIY projects, designating someone to collect your gifts, making sure your vendors have an updated timeline, packing an emergency kit… I could go on and on and on.

But then I considered what really matters to a bride approaching her wedding day. Those little details and to do lists have such an overwhelming weight of importance now, but the moment the wedding reception is over there will be just one person lying next to you. And that person just promised to be in that very spot for the rest of their life.
That’s what the entire day is about; that’s the moment where you become part of something bigger than just you.
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Give up.
Life is going to change.
Your relationship is going to change.
More than sleepovers every night and doing your taxes together.
You will disagree.
You will say things you regret.
You might not even like each other at times.
You might loose yourself once or twice.
There will be fights, dirty dishes, hand holding, and fast food dinners.
Milestones, broken dreams, house projects, and dinner parties.
Fits of laughter, butt grabbing, going to bed angry, and second chances.
There will be comfort and there will be fear.
But there will also be love.
A love that will surpass what you used to be capable of, and surround a world and a family that is all your own.
You will learn how to fight fair and accept the things you cannot change.
You will learn what it means to value someone more than yourself.
You will be the kind of happy that doesn’t properly fit into words.
So on your wedding day remember that things can go wrong. But even the rainiest day with the latest guest, missing vendor, and forgotten speech still brings you the best thing: a marriage. It’s big, messy and incredibly beautiful.
Take on these last days with an open heart. Celebrate the ends and the beginnings without letting them pass you by. Take it slow.
Give up.